A bit of comic relief on events

Petrol – Abbo – Amex – Ballie.

Dit.. dit.. ditdit.. dit.. dit…latest in the news.


COMEDY RELIEF

Petrol Prices jump ahead of long week end; Petrol chiefs deny price fixing despite lower oil barrel prices. Every other authority in universe sez profiteering blatant, price fixing bloody obvious, authorities ‘bought off’ because tax revenue increases.
FLASH.. new player in petrol market takes profiteering out of equation with tankers showing wholesale prices on side of vehicle – logo of new company is fat pig with wings and slogan ‘ you never had it so good’. – FLASH – marketing gurus for new petrol player save on printing costs with new, new slogan ‘ you never had it ‘.

Dit.. dit.. ditdit.. dit.. dit hot off press on a sesame seed bun.

Amex threatens to take accounting branch off shore [ to India or the dwarf planet Pluto ] because it costs them too much to employ Australian workers. Comment by Amex holders “ Take anything you like to freeking china or India BUT when I ring a company for info, the first thing I ask is ‘where are you located’. If it isn’t here in Oz, I hang up and ring a local branch of the company. I don’t want to deal with someone who can’t get your name right [ or even pronounce it correctly ], has piss poor English to start with and is being paid sh*t for wages while their company makes greater profits on these people’s financial and social circumstances – thus keeping them in third world status. Stuff you AMEX – take your whole company out of OZ, then see how your cost escalate when people refinance their credit card with another company, who fthe hell needs you. The great thing about competition in the market place is this. No matter how much market share a company has, as long as one other company exists that is NOT controlled by the fat crooks, these arrogant sons of bitches will pay dearly for dictating to the customer.

Dit.. dit.. ditdit.. dit.. dit . Bali holiday resorts rapidly going broke after second bomb attack. Government authorities comment ‘ how dare these arrogant tourists not come here. Just for that, we’ll send your drug mules to the firing squad.’. Comment by tourist on barrier reef. “ I was thinking of going to Bali because it’s dirt cheap BUT… what price your safety, what piece of mind when most of the officials are corrupt, [ gee - sounds like Queensland ] you could be framed for anything because you are not delirious happy with everything. Because of human rights concerns, I won’t go near any near east, middle east, or far eastern country in a fit – I value my personal freedom more and don’t want to risk being bombed by people who get a slap on the wrist by authorities for killing a score of tourists. Stuff Bali and that region of the planet in general. If I had 2 lifetimes and a bucket load of money, I still wouldn’t be able to cover most of this big beautiful land and see all it’s wonders – why the hell do I won’t to go overseas and see something I can experience in an IMAX theatre and be certain I won’t get bombed, or shot, or mugged, or arrested for spitting on the footpath, then thrown in jail without representation, denied my rights, framed for a minor crime, convicted in absentia and sentenced to death ?.

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Peter ‘Batty’ say’s police officer who beat an indigenous Australian to death in custody, will remain on duty behind a desk while authorities ponder the mysteries of the universe and all it’s glory. Congratulations on a job well done sent to Peter from Indonesian Prime minister with comment ‘ Now your getting the idea – show these mothers whose boss ‘ Comments by other Australians too naughty to print but ‘ I told you so, you wankers ‘ injected into most retorts.